So Mum and I were invited to a christening this weekend. A lovely sensible affair with some beautiful twin girls. And we were going to pop our heads in for ten minutes before going for some groceries. Best laid plans?? I woke up yesterday morning at 7.45am wondering why I was no longer on the bouncy castle and have now managed to cobble together some of my missing 10 hours! Apparently, it was the third bottle of wine that did it! I was fine, fine, fine and then, all of a sudden, I wasn’t. I was literally legless. They didn’t work anymore. I’m sure I was very entertaining though… Some of these people I hadn’t seen in seven years when they’d been at my wedding party where I had once again gotten horribly drunk. They must think I’m some mad lush when in actual fact I drink very rarely (and, from now on, NEVER AGAIN). To get home two very kind guys carried me to the car (which I don’t remember) and then Mum drove us home before she and Chris dragged me out of the car again and into the hall. Where I went like a pinball up and down the hall bouncing against wall and falling up and down stairs (again I don’t remember this). I have cuts and bruises everywhere and it’s only now that the nausea has subsided that I am feeling the pain from falling over so much. My left hand is swollen, my right bum cheek has a huge bruise on it, my left shoulder is very stiff and sore. Oops… And as for the belles of the ball – I never even saw them! All I saw was a big bottle of wine with my name on it and the babies were relegated. Hopefully, their parents will forgive me and it will be a great story to tell them at their birthday parties where (of course) I will be drinking Perrier!!!

Victoria